Your opponent within.

This morning I am so mad about myself because I wake up late, later than what I have planned yesterday and the reason why I wanted to wake up early is because I wanted to go to gym in the morning so that i have enough time for studying at afternoon, but i ended up not going to gym because it was almost noon when i waked up.

It was surely a bad start of a day for me, but something cheer me up. My door bell rung while I was cleaning my dishes, not surprisingly, my bag that I ordered online have arrived. So waking up late actually is not that bad at all, because if I went to the gym and no one open the door for the postman, since I am the only one at home now, then I have to walk all the way to the nearby post office to collect my bag.

Anyway that was just a extra story of my life. The thing I want to say is that, bad habit is one fucking stubborn bitch that you can’t easily get rid of it.

Recently, I have bought a diet book and it called “The Gracie Diet”. Basically the book is telling you how to eat healthy and build up a healthy lifestyle, but the main reason I bought this book among all those diet books is because the author, Rorion Gracie, is one of the son of Helio Gracie, who also known as the creator of Gracie Jiu Jitsu. Since I am a jiujitsu practitioner, gracie family is always a role model for me, so now I want to know how they eat in order to get as efficient as them in jiujitsu.

In the book, it talks a lot about habit. The author define our bad habit as our opponent, who will use every technique to defeat you and he will only get better and better every time he defeated you.

Today I have been defeated by my inner opponent for waking up late and laziness. It is hard but I will remind myself that I won’t get defeated by the same technique again and I will overtake the technique next time.

Every moment you are in a battle with your opponent within. You can either obey to your opponent and be a slave or defeat him and take control your body and mind.

Stay strong my friend and keep it playful.

Home Alone

Holiday, everyone is going back home to meet their friends and family and celebrate christmas, but for a foreign who don’t celebrate christmas like me, can only stay at home whilst all of my housemate have gone back to their home.

So here I am, sitting in the living room alone and wondering will there be any burglar come to “visit” me while I am asleep during the night, since the area of my house got a lot of burglary happen before, so I have been practising my jiujitsu moves in the house.

Anyway, the house is empty now and I am the only one left in the house, so what should i do? Organise a house party!!But most of my friends have left the city and some are travelling right now. At the end, I am sitting on my living floor writing this blog.

Maybe is time to eat some junk food and MOVIE MARATHON !!!

Happy Winter Break guys !!!

So Annoying

Don’t know since when i started to feel like speechless every time I’m talking with someone. My mind just went blank and I know that it is not because I have fallen in love with that people nor talking to someone too attractive. Started to wonder whether this is my problem or other’s problem.

I always believe I need to know more stuff, in another words, my life is too boring to share with others so it is necessary to earn some experience from doing more new stuff. When it comes to do new stuff, it can be terrifying but exciting, for me it is more terrifying, honestly.

I think all of these problem came from my confidence. Lack of confidence is one of my major problem of my social life, for example, I always filter my thoughts before I speak, but it end up with thinking too much, causing me don’t know what to say and nervous.

I always told me it is time to walk through my comfort zone and start experience new stuff, but it just a thought, i never did that. This is really annoys me and i really wanted to change.

Can’t blame anyone, because all i can blame is myself.

Living at the moment forever

I really enjoy and like my life right now, even though it is not very interesting because i spend most of my time alone or with my friends, for others it might be very boring but for me, is enough.

Without worrying anything that involve money, from uni fee to life expenses, it is just feels like living in heaven, or perhaps this is what we call ” heaven on earth”. I get everything i want, do anything i want without any worry, but is this freedom ? I don’t know.

I used to be a person who worried everything that surrounded me and i guess i get tired. Now, i just be a person what i wanted to be, but is this something i’m proud to say, no. I said i enjoy my current life and i really do, but this life and what i had right now, are all from my beloved parents, thank you mum and dad.

I started to worry again, because time move on and there always something you have to face it or solve it. I always tell myself that try not to think about future because we will never know what will come, but this is a very irresponsible thought, because we can prepare even we don’t no what will come next, we always have to be prepared. But why we have to be prepared ? Does that mean we just scare of failure so that we do everything we can to be successful ? Maybe we can learn more from failure? What funny is, i know that the ultimate answer is to always to be prepared, but i will still keep on asking me those same old questions.

Look at that, i started to ask question again, worrying again.

I just wanted to live at the moment.

Let’s Restart !!!

It’s been a while since my post on my blog. A lot of things happen, but i didn’t manage to share those stuff, by the way i’m always not a fan of sharing, just too lazy to do that. Anyway, it’s time for me to fill up this blog with some of the stuff that have happened recently.

After a three months summer break, i return to my university and resume the uni life. So far it’s been quite normal, stress, lack of sleep and never-ending coursework, all of them have also returned. But there is one thing i’m not really happy about myself, which is i seems to get off track already, and the first semester has not even finished yet. Before I started my second year, I’ve made a plan on my study, which is, try to revise every day so that all the material will stay in my head securely, but I didn’t do that now. Sometime I will always blame coursework, because too much coursework make me didn’t have time to study. I try to take a step back and look for the problem, then i realised, I spend too much time on fun stuff instead of the “real” stuff and I’m not concentrate at all every time I study or doing coursework, all result in, waste of time. This will be my reminder to start getting myself together and focus on my goal. 

Turning topic to something more casual. I have joined the jiujitsu seminar and competition happen at Exeter during the last weekend. For those who don’t know, I won a silver medal last year on the white belt middle weight category, but this year i win nothing and I’ve lost my wallet because I was too drunk to celebrate for … nothing. Actually I don’t really care about my wallet, because the more I think about it, the more stress I will get because the wallet was a present from my mum, it is quite sad but I can’t do anything now. The thing I concerned more is my jiujitsu, because I was shocked on my performance, “no pain no gain” is a truth and i have experience it through defeated by my opponent. The lesson I have learned is, no matter what you do, make sure you will get it done and put all the effort into it once you have started something, or else there is no point to start something you don’t want to finish it.

So after using two paragraph to criticise myself, I wanted to start over again. Let’s Restart !!!

Alcohol Issue

I barely sleep last night, because I am too excited and feel quite surreal that I am actually going home, although it just 8 months but i really miss my home town. 

Anyway, I promise my friend to buy a bottle of absinthe on my way home, but I can’t really find a bottle of absinthe at Heathrow Airport, instead i bought a Double Black Label, hope it can settle the anger of my friends. 

Well, I wrote this blog because i have nothing to do and i still have 3 more hours have to wait for departure. What to do ……

Leaving my room

Due to some of my horrible mistake, i have taken the wrong time of the end date of my accommodation and booked my flight ticket four days after the end date, which means I might have to sleep on the street if i can’t find a place to move in today. But luckily, with the help of my friends, i have found myself a “shelter” for these four more days. It is exciting but scary too.

Packing is tiring and I really hate it, but it have to be done. Just realize I have brought some much useless stuff to the hall. Anyway, after i have packed all my stuff, I feel quite emotional when i look at the room. 

I spend most of my time in my room, it is where i study, eating, sleeping or sometime exercising. It is not a big room but it fit all the stuff I brought and that is fairly enough for me.